


Supernatural: The Meta-fanfiction Disney Musical

by Writer_Geekgirl



Series: Castiel and Dean: An AU Love Story [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel in the Bunker, Disney Songs, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Metafiction, Musicals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:02:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Geekgirl/pseuds/Writer_Geekgirl
Summary: Dear Dean,There is to singing in Supernatural. In fact, it's Disney tunes. There will be dancing, singing, kissing, and parodies.Yours truly,Your unreliable narrator and GodChuck Shurley





	Supernatural: The Meta-fanfiction Disney Musical

Dean fell asleep in his Dean cave watching a Dr. Sexy marathon. He startled awake when he heard a familiar voice.

He opened his eyes to see Chuck on the television screen saying, "How's the sickie, Jack? Huh? I brought you a special present." Chuck pulled out a book.

In a bed, a younger version of Jack said, "A book?"

"It's a special book, Jack, and today I'm gonna read it to you."

Jack asked, "Does it have any Star Wars in it?"

Chuck smiled, "No, but it has fighting, torture, revenge, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…"

"Mushy love?"

Chuck scoffed and said, "No, not too much. But still, the greatest love story ever told."

"Huh?"

Chuck added, "About a man who was afraid to fly and an angel who chose to fall. And the miserable brother who got caught between both all the time."

Jack shrugged, "It doesn't sound too bad."

"Okay, just a few things you need to know. The character Dean means 'I love you' when he says, 'I need you.' And Castiel means 'I love you' if he says 'I could go with you.' Got that?"

"Yeah."

Chuck said, "Once upon a time, there was a hunter named Dean. Dean had father issues and a complicated upbringing. He also had a brother he loved more than anything on Earth. There was an angel, who also had father issues and a complicated upbringing. Oh, and one time, Dean tempted fate and said there was no singing in Supernatural. So, in this story, there's lots of singing. From Disney. And they are cartoon characters. Oh, and you have to call me the narrator for the rest of the story."

Jack asked, "Isn't inserting yourself into a story a douche move, as Dean would say?"

The narrator said, "Nah, it's metafiction."

Dean struggled on the couch to use the remote to turn the tv off. He had had enough of whatever farce he was watching. He knew perfectly well there was no music in Supernatural except for what came through Baby's speakers. He couldn't move. He couldn't even pick up his glass to drink more whiskey. He tried to call out for Sam or Castiel, but no words would escape from his mouth.

On the screen, opening credits showed 14 different variations of the title card for Supernatural. It finally stopped on the final one that said:

"Supernatural: The Meta- fanfiction Disney Musical."

The title card exploded with a burst of rainbow-colored confetti.

Red curtains closed on the screen.

\-----

The curtains opened. Cartoon versions of young Sam, Dean, and John Winchester stood next to the Impala.

The music from Mulan's _I'll Make a Man Out of You_ started to play.

John pulled out a machete and began to sing:

> Let's get down to business  
>  To defeat demons  
>  Did they send me daughters  
>  When I asked for sons?

Sam tried to run away, but cartoon Dean dragged him back. John continued unperturbed: 

> You're the saddest bunch I've ever met  
>  But you can bet your ass before I'm done  
>  Mister, I'll make a hunter out of you

Sam's looked sullenly at John, while Dean pushed Sam in the back to make him stand up straighter. Sam begrudgingly picked up a machete and started hacking the target vampire dummy. Dean looked on proudly.

The curtains closed.

\-------------------------------------------

The narrator said, "Now, while the boys were learning to be hunters, Castiel was a warrior in Heaven. But, he doesn't follow rules very well and gets in trouble a lot."

Jack said, "Well, he still gets in trouble a lot."

The narrator nodded, "That's true. I can't count how many times I had to rebuild him. But let's hear a bit from him."

\-------------------------------------------  
The curtains opened.

Castiel watched other angels, including Uriel and Balthazar, sparring in a white room with gold trim. Castiel sighed and walked over to a wall with a mirror. The music for _Reflections_ from _Mulan_ began. Castiel looked at his reflection wistfully, tracing his finger around the gold filigree in the frame around the mirror.

Castiel sang softly:

> Look at me  
>  I will never pass for a perfect son or a perfect angel  
>  Can it be I'm not meant to play this part?  
>  Now I see that if I were to truly be myself  
>  I'd rebel and break my family's apocalypse jump start  
>  Who is that angel I see staring start back at me?  
>  Why is my reflection someone I don't know?  
>  Somehow the rules I can't seem to abide  
>  I'm not a good angel even though I've tried  
>  When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Castiel sighed wistfully at the mirror again and turned around to join the other angels sparring.

The curtains closed.

\---------------------------------------------  
The narrator said, "So, you see. Castiel was never the perfect angel even before he ever met Dean. He had too much heart and loved humanity too much. They always thought he was broken. They tried to fix him several times."

Jack looked indignant, "He wasn't broken, just different."

The narrator responded, "But, you see, angels aren't supposed to be different. But that part comes later. Sam also is different from Dean and his dad. He leaves his family to go to a magical place called California. It broke Dean's heart."

\---------------------------------------------

The curtains opened to show a cabin on the top of a hill.

The music for _Belle_ from _Beauty and the Beast_ started to play. A teenage Sam emerged from the cabin and looked around. He wore a Flagstaff t-shirt and carried a duffle bag in his hand.

Sam sang:

> Hunter Sammy!  
>  Can't you just see it?  
>  Hunter Sammy!  
>  That hunting life, ugh.  
>  No sir! Not me! I guarantee it!  
>  I want much more than this nomadic life!  
>  I want adventure in the halls of Stanford  
>  I want it more than I can say  
>  And once for it would be grand  
>  If Dean could understand  
>  I want so much more than the hunting life they've planned.

Sam disappeared down the hill and into the darkness of the woods.

The curtain closed.

\------------------------------------------  
The narrator said, "So, you see, Sam got out of the life. But he got pulled back in when the love of his life was killed by the thing that killed his mother."

Jack glared, "You said there'd be a happy ending."

The narrator responded, "For Sam, there's a happy-ish ending. He's got to get there first."  
\------------------------------------------

The curtains opened. 

Sam stood next to the trunk of the Impala, holding a rifle in his hands. Behind him, the glare of lights from fire trucks and police car illuminated the night. Dean stood next to him looking worried. Sam tossed the rifle into the trunk. As the song _Go the Distance_ from _Hercules_ began, he looked at Dean and sang:

> I can't get Jess back, I have to go the distance  
>  I'll look for dad, and won't accept defeat  
>  It's a slippery slope  
>  For a normal life, there's no hope, til I go the distance  
>  And my hunt for it is complete, oh yeah

> But to look beyond victory is the hardest part  
>  Because I'm no hero and I have a broken heart, oh

> Like a man possessed, I will go the distance  
>  I will search for Jess' killer, I will face it down  
>  I don't care how long, I will go the distance  
>  Till revenge I get in that final showdown

Sam slammed the trunk.

The curtains closed.

\------------------------------------------  
The narrator said, "So you see, Dean and Sam go on adventures. Sam accepts that he has to lead a hunter's life. Eventually, they do kill the thing that killed Jess and their mother. But, Dean gets himself in a bit of a pickle in the process. The angels sent Castiel to save him because they had plans for Dean."

"This is where they meet and fall in love?" Jack asked. "But they don't kiss and stuff?"

The narrator responded, "No, they have to try to kill and betray each other a few times before then. But literal sparks flew when the day they met."

\-------------------------------------------  
The curtains opened. 

Dean and Bobby stood in an old barn with sigils painted on the wall and a roof that shuddered from the wind. The doors flew opened, and Castiel entered with raging thunder and light bulbs exploding with fiery pops above him. Dean pulled out his gun and shot Castiel in the chest several times. Castiel continued to approach him with steely determination in his eyes. Dean stabbed him with a knife. Castiel pulled it out and dropped it. Bobby tried to hit Castiel with a crowbar, Castiel grabbed and then reached out to Bobby's forehead. Bobby fell to the ground.

Castiel and Dean froze in place as Anna and Balthazar entered the barn. Balthazar smirked at the pair, while Anna smiled at them dreamily. _Beauty and the Beast_ began to play.

Anna sang, "Tale as old as time."

Balthazar rolled his eyes, "True as it can be."

Anna continued, "Barely even friends."

Balthazar glared at her. "They aren't even friends yet. They just met, and Dean is trying to kill him. But I suppose that someone bends." Balthazar smirked.

"Unexpectedly."

Balthazar snorted, "Really, Anna. Wouldn't it have been less cliché if they had met in a club, darling? What are we even doing here? You started hearing voices that night, and I was in the garrison trying hard to behave."

"Father is just taking some artistic license," Anna retorted.

"He's an unreliable narrator."

Anna glared at Balthazar before continuing to the music of _Beauty and the Beast_ :

> Just the righteous man  
>  An angel in the barn  
>  Dean is really scared  
>  Cas is unprepared  
>  Beauty and the beast

Balthazar sighed and started to sing:

> Ever in a suit  
>  His clothes will never change  
>  Fourteen years later  
>  He must have a trench coat replicator  
>  Cassie acts just as strange  
>  Beauty and the beast

Anna's eyes shot daggers at Balthazar, as she sang:

> Tale as old as time  
>  Songs that badly rhyme  
>  Beauty and the beast

Balthazar and Anna waltzed together as they left the barn, and the music stopped.

Dean growled and asked Castiel, "Who are you?"

"My name is Castiel."

The curtains closed.

\-------------------------------------------

The narrator said, "Of course, Castiel and Dean didn't realize they were in love, because they are kind of slow that way. Everyone knew it before they did. Balthazar, Meg, Crowley, Sam, Bobby, Charley, Bartholomew, Naomi, Cain, Random Demon Three that wanted to take over hell. Most of the fanbase. Misha. The Teen Choice Awards. The powers that be that didn't acknowledge it. All of them knew."

"But Cas and Dean?" Jack inquired.

The narrator smiled, "Let's just say, they are slow learners."

\-------------------------------------------  
The curtains opened.

Dean and Castiel sat on the hood of the Impala, laughing and talking quietly. Each with a beer in their hand. Bobby and Sam watched them from the porch.

The music from _Can You Feel the Love Tonight_ from _The Lion King_ started softly in the background. Bobby sang, "I can see what's happening."

____

Sam said, 'What?"

"They don't have a clue."

"Who?"

"They'll fall in love and the bottom line is our family's down to two."

"Oh," Sam stared at Castiel and Dean confused.

Bobby continued singing:

> "The sweet caress of an angel  
>  There is grace flowing in the air  
>  And with the flutter of his wings  
>  That damned angel's everywhere

The camera changed its focus to Dean and Castiel.

Dean sang: 

> So many things to tell him,  
>  But how to make him see  
>  That I am so unworthy  
>  He shouldn't put faith in me

Castiel sang back:

> He's holding back, not talking  
>  About what, I can't decide  
>  Why won't he be the righteous man?  
>  The man I see deep down inside.

Bobby from the porch sang:

> Can you feel the love tonight?  
>  The UST the evening brings  
>  They stare at each other in perfect harmony  
>  Thinking about unrelated things

Sam joined in singing:

> Can you feel the love tonight?  
>  I think it really sickens me  
>  How it is that the two dumbasses  
>  Look at each other so long but never see

The camera panned back to Castiel and Dean staring intently at each other on the Impala under the stars. After several long moments, the curtains closed.

\-----------------------------------------

The narrator looked at Jack. "So, everyone else could see them falling for each other. Then some angels realized he was too close to his charges, took Castiel back to Heaven, and set him back to factory defaults."

Jack looked at his grandfather questioningly, "But they were falling in love. That would be a horrible ending."

The narrator nodded. "It's ok. Castiel will remember even after Naomi did her best to erase it. You see, the angels underestimated what Castiel would be willing to do for Dean. So, buckle in there, buddy. Things are about to get interesting." 

\------------------------------------------

The curtains opened to reveal the green room. 

Dean paced and glared at Castiel. A tray of hamburgers and beers sat on the table in the center of room ignored.

He snarled, "There is a right and a wrong here, Cas. And you know it."

The music from _Let It Go_ from _Frozen_ lilted through the room. Castiel started singing softly as he watched Dean calmly.

> The tension's so high in the room tonight  
>  Not an angel to be seen  
>  The green room of isolation  
>  In it, only me and Dean  
>  Dean is growling like his whirling rage inside  
>  I couldn't keep him calm, heaven knows I tried

> Don't let Naomi in  
>  Don't let her see  
>  Be the good angel you're supposed to be  
>  Conceal, don't feel  
>  Don't let her know  
>  But now she'll know

Castiel suddenly slammed Dean against the wall. He pulled Dean's demon knife out and cut himself to make a sigil on the wall. He sang:

> Let Dean go!  
>  Let him go!  
>  Can't obey Michael anymore  
>  Let Dean go!  
>  Let him go!  
>  Banish Zac and fly out the door

> I don't care  
>  What the prophet will say  
>  Let the war rage on  
>  I never obeyed rules anyway

Zachariah disappeared in a flash of light. Dean and Castiel disappeared and reappeared in Chuck's decrepit living room. Castiel continued to sing:

> It's funny how rebelling  
>  Makes all their rules seem small  
>  And the orders that once controlled me  
>  Aren't important if I fall

> It's time to see what I can do  
>  To change Dean's fate and break through  
>  No part, no role, no rules left for me  
>  I'm free, He's free  
>  Let it go, let it go  
>  We'll make up our own story.

Light brightens the room and Dean disappears. Chuck puts one hand on Castiel's shoulder, as the curtains close.

\-------------------------------------

The narrator said, leaning back in his chair, "So, a lot happened with Heaven and with Hell and Castiel's family. But, in the end, Castiel wound up on earth with the boys after stopping the apocalypse. But the boys, they found this bunker."

Jack interrupted, "The Men of Letter Bunker. Where we live?"

"Yeah, that's right, kiddo. But Castiel still doesn't think he belongs, even though the boys finally have a home."

\---------------------------------------

The curtains opened as Sam walked into the entryway of the bunker for the first time.

He gasped at the contents, ran down the stairs, and turned around at the bottom, flipping his hair like a Disney princess. Dean followed him more sedately.

They paused, looking around in amazement at the bunker, as the music to _Part of Your World_ from the _Little Mermaid_ began in the background.

Sam started to sing:

> Look at this stuff  
>  Isn't it neat?  
>  Wouldn't you think that our lore is complete?  
>  Wouldn't you think we're the hunters,  
>  The hunters that have everything.

Dean pulled one of the katanas out of its holder in the library, pretending to parry with it, and sang:

> Look at this sword  
>  Weapons untold  
>  How many awesome things can one bunker hold?  
>  Looking around here you think  
>  We've got everything!

Sam and Dean harmonized:

> We've got Busty Asian Beauties aplently  
>  We got books, charts, and maps galore  
>  You want antique cars  
>  We've got twenty

The two flounced through the bunker happily. Meanwhile, Castiel stood at the top of the staircase and sang softly:

> But who cares?  
>  No big deal.  
>  I want more.

> I want to be where the Winchesters are  
>  I want to see  
>  Want to see them laughing  
>  Going to those places...  
>  What do you call them… bars

> Flapping your wings, you don’t get too far  
>  Emotions are required for laughing and singing  
>  For making those things that have music  
>  (What's that word again) mix tapes

> I want to be  
>  Down where they walk  
>  Down where they run  
>  Down to where they hunt all day and have fun  
>  Driving Baby around free  
>  Wish I could be  
>  Part of their world

Castiel sighed and headed down the stairs to join the brothers.

The curtains closed.

\---------------------------------------------

Jack snorted, "That's horrible. They went through all that and Dean still doesn't know that Castiel loves him. What kind of story is this?"

The narrator said, "Well, that's the thing. The ending isn't quite here yet. But Jack, I hope it goes something like this."

\----------------------------------------------

The curtain opened. 

Dean stood next to Castiel, opening the passenger door of the Impala.

"Do you trust me?"

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Do you trust me, sunshine."

Castiel slid into the car. Dean walked around to start it and drove it out of the bunker. The music from _Whole New World_ from _Aladdin_ started.

Dean sang:

> I can show you the world  
>  Vampires, werewolves, and demons  
>  Tell me, sunshine, now when did  
>  You last let your happiness outside

> I can open your eyes  
>  Take you highway by highway  
>  Over roadways and deserted byways  
>  On a classic car Impala ride

Castiel sang:

> A whole new world  
>  A more human point of view  
>  No angels to tell us no  
>  Or places to go  
>  To say the world must need saving

> A whole new world  
>  A wondrous place to explore  
>  But when I'm here with you  
>  It becomes really clear  
>  That I want to be in this world with you

Dean stopped the car, leaned over, and said, "I need you."

Castiel looked at him and smiled, "I could go with you."

Fireworks filled the sky, while small birds flew around the car. Bunnies started hopping up to watch them kiss. Finally, two deer emerged from the forest and stared happily.

One disgruntled moose walked by and said, "About fucking time."

The curtain closed.

\-------------------------------------------

Jack said, "That's it?"

The narrator said, "For now. I think all three Winchesters did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. Isn't that kind of the whole point?" The television abruptly turned off. 

Dean was able to finally stand up and talk. He looked at the screen blankly and wondered what the hell just happened. He looked at the bottle of Jim Beam on the table. No more drinking or television for him that night, or any night in the near future. "Son of a bitch," he muttered.

He walked down the hallway past Jack's room. He paused when he heard Jack singing a song from the _Little Mermaid_ quietly:

> There you see her  
>  Sitting there across the way  
>  She don’t got a lot to say  
>  But there’s something about her  
>  And you don’t know why  
>  But you’re dying to try  
>  You wanna kiss the girl

The screen went black. Large white letters appeared:

THE END

\-----------------

Dean woke up startled again. Castiel stood over him, "Hello, Dean. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Cas, I just need you." Dean stood up from the couch. "I'm off to bed."

"I could go with you."

Dean offered him his hand, "I just had the weirdest dream." Castiel intertwined his fingers with Dean's.

Castiel asked, "Shifting realties again?"

"I don’t know what the hell to call this. It's like some writer with too much time on their hands decided to make Supernatural a Disney musical and spent an entire day doing it."

Castiel snorted, "That's crazy. Who would do that?"

"Yeah, it's almost as bad as inserting yourself into the narrative."

**Author's Note:**

> I beg the forgiveness of all songwriters who have ever in the past or present written any song for a Disney movie. All bad rhymes are my own damn fault. Please consider this to be the satire and parody that it is.
> 
> I also apologize to Dean Winchester. I'll leave apologizing to Sam up to Dean and Cas for making him endure UST and eye stares for over a decade.
> 
> Also, special thanks to the _The Princess Bride_.


End file.
